By Marline C. Duroseau
When I finally got in to see my therapist after a month of having to miss, cancel, and reschedule my much-needed sessions, I was elated! I plopped on to her couch and just talked my heart out after the initial question, “So, Marline, how are things going? How have you been?” After getting through all the twists and turns encountered on my roller-coaster of events that transpired since my last session, doc says, “Ok, so when are you going to take YOUR time off and do something for YOU?”
Of course, trying to find the answer to that question resulted in my silence as I thought about how easier said than done accomplishing that would be. So, part of my homework after the session was to plan out ME time, an extended weekend perhaps, that I could just rest – no meetings, no appointments, NOTHING. Amid this, I was not able to secure a specific day off, mainly because it was just not the right time. Things at work were just beyond hectic. Finally, it came to me, I’ll just add an extra day, my mental health day, to the upcoming Memorial Holiday weekend. I chose Tuesday instead of Friday. So, that means I would be off Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. That should be good right?, I asked myself quietly. The more I began to think about what to do on these days off and how much else I still had to do, the thoughts of despair and doubt quickly took over my short-lived excitement for being off. Since I’ll be off, everyone will want to spend time with me as well. How can I best navigate this without feeling guilty and without missing out on ME time?, I asked myself.
I then quieted my thoughts, regained my focus, and just started to plan it all out. Here goes: Friday night after work, I just did nothing. I got home, made myself comfy in bed with my husband and kids. We watched tv until time for bed.
Day 1 Saturday: I mainly dedicated to my parents. I scheduled an early morning wax. Then I spent the day with my mom and mom-in-law where the nail shop was the next stop. We all got our much-overdue manicure and pedicures. We then went to a couple of grocery stores, the bakery for some treats, and then hung out with mom, dad, and mom-in-law at my parents’ home.
Day 2 Sunday: I dedicated this day to family time. My husband and I made it to the waterpark with the kids right when they opened at 10 am! What was supposed to be a 2-3 hour play time, evolved into a full day of fun in the sun! We had a blast with the kids and then went to dinner as a family to a restaurant the boys chose.
Day 3 Monday: I dedicated this day to my husband and I. We had a great and relaxing day. It was much needed after spending the day at the waterpark with the boys. We drove to the beach and had a couple’s massage at the spa. After the massage, we relaxed on the premises and then sat under umbrellas on the beach. We watched the little kids play in the sand, people get in and out of the ocean, and took a nap. For the last hour or so, we got in the ocean ourselves and enjoyed the south Florida ocean water. Once done, we used the spa facilities to shower and freshen up. Because we packed a change of clothes, we got dressed for a nice dinner. We then drove to a waterfront seafood restaurant that was just lovely. We had a great time together as we laughed, joked around and enjoyed just being together.
Day 4 Tuesday: Today was all for ME! Finally, all of that planning to get to the one day I was able to dedicate to myself. My morning started off with taking the boys to school. After that I sat at a local coffee shop and enjoyed a nice hot cup of caramel macchiato coffee. I then went to a lymphatic massage session. Once done there, I headed to a med spa for my HydraFacial session. It was pure bliss. I really enjoyed it. After the facial, I drove home and got there in time to greet the boys off the bus. They were excited to see me, as usually I am still at work when they get home from school. My husband made it home early. That was great as he handled all the afterschool/evening routines with the boys. Thus, I was able to relax for the remainder of my day off after everyone settled in.
All in all, I had a very relaxing, fulfilling, and overall positive mental resetting days off. If I had focused on all the things I felt needed to be done, I would not have achieved my goal of figuring out a way to indeed take time off for ME. Just like that, the feeling of despair was gone. I went back to work and my normal routines thereafter with a renewed sense of joy, energy, and mental clarity. I also felt fulfilled in not only having made myself a priority, but I was also able to spend time with and pour into those people that are important to me, making them happy too. Ok, now, it’s about time for my next ME day. Let me start trying to plan it even though I don’t know exactly when I’ll be able to do it! I need to Prepare not Despair!
How do you prepare for and execute ME time?
Please share – We’d love to hear your thoughts.